That's a Bad Word!
by Blitzindite
Summary: Or: Chase is a potty-mouth, and his kids don't like it. (T for language)


There was a high-pitched squeal accompanied by the pitter-patter of bare feet. It's followed by the stomping of boot-clad feet, clearly larger by the sound. The boot-clad man—well, could he be called a man? Egos weren't technically human, after all—was laughing as he chased the giggling ball of energy in circles around the kitchen island.

Off to the side, a few other Egos stood watching and laughing. Three of them looked identical to the one chasing the little girl around, save for different clothes and their hair being differing shades of green. The other three looked completely different from the green-haired Egos, yet exactly like each other. Once again, the only exception being their clothes and the one wearing ridiculous orange sunglasses with a different hairstyle. A little boy, maybe seven or eight, sat on the counter, giggling and cheering for the girl to escape the 'terrible monster!'.

"Jackie! Save me!" the girl squeaked as she rounded the island for the umpteenth time.

At the plea, one of the green-haired Egos, clad in an entirely red jumpsuit and blue mask, put his fists on his hips in a dramatic 'superhero pose'.

"Chase—!" The Ego with sunglasses was too late to the warning. Chase looked up just in time to be swept off his feet, and now he was the one squeaking.

Jackie could only laugh, and Chase quit struggling to get away as soon as his feet had left the ground. Hands that had, moments ago, been pushing on Jackieboy's chest to try and escape now nearly choked the older Ego as Chase clung on for dear life. The superhero's head was nearly brushing the ceiling now, and he just floated there, laughing at the younger Ego's expense.

Schneeplestein, clad in his entire doctor's uniform, save the mask and gloves, had gone pale as soon as Chase was off the ground. He wasn't even the one in the air, and he looked horrified at the younger Septic's distance from the ground (it really wasn't _that_ far, though).

"Okay, Jackie! You can bring Daddy down, now!" the little boy called, giggling again. If Schneep looked horrified, then Chase was in sheer terror. His eyes were squinted shut, legs curled up as close to his chest as he could get them, face paler than Schneep's, and his nails were digging into Jackie's jumpsuit.

"Don't. Drop. Me." What was supposed to sound threatening came out as more of a shaky whimper.

Rolling his eyes, Jackie made a slow descent back to the ground. He had to pry Chase's arms off of himself when they'd reached it, and Schneep was immediately there to pull the younger Ego away with a pointed glare at the superhero.

"Daddy's scared of hei-eights!" The boy teased in a sing-song voice.

Chase and Schneep were the only ones of the group not laughing.

"C'mon, dudes, lighten up!" Bing flicked his sunglasses up on top of his head, orange eyes literally bright with humor. The color contrasted with his two lookalikes' chocolate brown, but they held the same amusement.

"Fuck off," Chase muttered. His eyes immediately widened, and he looked at the kids with an expression of _'_ _oh, shit'_.

They both put their hands on their hips, then the boy waggled his finger at his father. "That's a bad word!"

The other two Ipliers, as well as Marvin who hadn't really said much up to that point, all looked at each other and snickered. "Kyler's right," Marv chuckled, cape shifting on his shoulders as he shrugged.

"Seeee?" The boy pointed over at them. "Marv and the Jims agree!"

"The Jims did not say they agree," Schneep pointed out. "Only laugh like immature Twins they are."

Instead of defending themselves, the Jims just made faces to further prove Schneep's point. The doctor could only roll his eyes, then look down at a tiny tug on his coat. "Ah, Sophie!" The mock annoyance in his eyes softened, and he picked the little girl up with ease, propping her on one hip. "You are getting so big, little Sophie! And with so much energy and smiles! _Wie dein Vater!_ "

Even if she couldn't understand part of what Schneep said, Sophie beamed at him. Actually…the _only_ one who understood Schneep's shift into German was Bing. And that was only because the Browser android was multilingual.

Casual chatter started back up after that.

* * *

At one point, Kyler had taken a daring leap off the counter, right onto Jackieboy's back. He'd startled the superhero with the action, but now he was seated on the island instead. Jackie and Marvin were with him now, watching the magician do simple magic tricks. The Jims were on the opposite side of the island, trying to watch the tricks from around Kyler's shoulders. Their eyes were wide and mouths agape. Despite being around plenty of reality warpers, anything could amaze the Twins.

Schneep was standing a little ways behind Jackie, not really paying attention to the sparks at Marvin's fingertips. Instead, he was humming, smiling at Sophie as she sang some ridiculous children's song for him. The way he held the child looked perfectly natural, like he'd done it so many times before.

Bing hovered behind Chase as the video blogger raided the fridge for a soda, before the pair moved closer to the rest of the group again. They were laughing and exchanging the stories of the day. Bing brought up how one of the King's squirrels had decided to make a nest of Oliver's charger. Already running low on power, the yellow Google had been forced to ask Bing to borrow his. The 'lesser' android definitely wasn't going to let Ollie live that down for a while!

Chase, having difficulty talking around his snickers, explained how Jameson had accidentally trapped Anti in a camera for a good part of the day. Alongside Seán, the silent Ego actually had to take the camera to Google_B to get Anti out of the damaged device. Chase actually hadn't seen the glitch since they'd gotten back.

"Well _/beep/_ , dude!" Instead of the intended curse in there, a very real, very annoying censor beep came out of Bing's mouth.

Chase nearly spit out his soda as he busted out laughing again. "Bro…y-you've got Safe Search on?"

If it was possible for him to blush, Bing would have. Instead, his eyes literally brightened. He fumbled for his words, before just gesturing at Sophie and Kyler. "I'm totally not cussin' in front of the little dudes, dude!"

The blogger just shoved Bing's shoulder with a roll of his eyes. "Just 'cause _you_ won't doesn't mean much, bro. And actually, I think Anti and Seán're loads worse 'bout their language, man." He grinned. "'Sides, the kids'll scold anyone who _does_ curse."

Jackie glanced over at the blogger and android, catching parts of their conversation. "They don't get that from the Septics, that's for sure," he grinned, before turning back to Marvin.

"Or most'a the Ipliers," Bing added.

Chase only nodded with another chuckle. "Think they got it from Signe. She'd corrected Marv a while back 'cause he said somethin' in front of 'em."

"Marv did?" The android rolled his eyes. "Let me guess?"

"Yep. He and Warftache were doin' something stupid with their magic…powers…well, whatever the fuck it is. Blew up in their faces. Just gonna say, the docs weren't happy."

Bing snorted. "Why the _/beep/_ was Marvin with Will?"

"Dunno? Competing for who could impress the kids more?"

At that, the android shook his head. He was still grinning, but now it was more of a grimace. "Okay. Why was _Will_ with the kids?"

"Hey, man, I'd asked King and Ollie to watch 'em 'cause I had to out. Marv, Signe, and some others were there, at least. But trust me, bro; I'd _never_ fuckin' trust Warfstache with 'em on his own."

Chase was a little louder than intended. Kyler perked up from his island-perch and Sophie turned to look at her father so fast that she almost fell out of Schneep's arms. They'd definitely heard that 'F-bomb'. "Daddy!" Sophie glowered at him.

Kyler added, "That's a bad word!"


End file.
